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Transcript

This page is a transcribed copy for "Club Book".
Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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Cast[]

Script[]

(Title Card with episode name appears while Sweepy Steve put a sign of the episode sponsor "Town Hall Meetings")

Announcer: Brought to you by Table Town's Town Hall Meetings. Want a complain? Do it in person!

Table Town Library

(Kiff and her friends Barry, Reggie, Renée and Patty are in a reading area)

Barry Buns: So, how does this work again?

Kiff Chatterley: It's a Book Club, Barry! We all read the same book, and all we talk about it. So lets start! Begin reading in 3, 2, 1... (Everyone starts reading at the same time. Kiff gasps) I KNEW IT!!!

Ms. Moufflé: Shhh... (Kiff becomes bitter, then continues reading her book)

Kiff Chatterley: "An Unexpected Twist"? (gets nervous) THIS CHAPTER IS GONNA BE NUTS!!!!

Ms. Moufflé: Shhh... (Kiff falls off her beanbag) You know Kiff, I always thought you had the potential to become one of us librarians.

Kiff Chatterley: Ah, I'll never be a shusher like you!

Ms. Moufflé: Yes, well everything's so intense with you, but that's just not the way of... (More of the interior of the library is shown) ...the library.

Kiff Chatterley: This isn't fair! I just get (sighs) passionate when I read.

Ms. Moufflé: (Take the book that Kiff was reading) There are quieter ways to experience a book, Kiff. Observe. (She starts reading the book, then tears come out of her eyes, a few seconds later she ends up relaxing) Silence intensity. (Barry applauds her)

Kiff Chatterley: I've tried reading quietly maybe you could take the shushing down a few notches!

Ms. Moufflé: (puts on her devilish voice) I WILL NEVER NOT SHUSH YOU, SQUIRREL!! I...! (She relaxs) Wow, that came out really harsh. (giggles) I refuse to be the villain in your little story but... this is a library, as long as I'm in charge all I want to hear is sweet, sweet silence.

(Barry's belly starts to growl, so Ms. Moufflé shushes him, causing Barry to fart in embarrassment. Kiff, still angry, comes up with a plan)

Table Town Hall, Meeting Room

(Several people meet with Glarbin to tell him their issues)

Glarbin Gloobin: Still having gutter issues, Iris?

Iris: I was a-- (Kiff enters and interrupts Iris. Everyone is surprised)

Kiff Chatterley: I have a pressing issue! I'd like to be put in charge of the public library.

Glarbin Gloobin: What? No! There's no form for that.

Kiff Chatterley: But... Uh... (She sees several graphs next to Glarbin) There's a chart!

Glarbin Gloobin: I'm listening.

(Kiff tells Iris to move aside, then she draws an imaginary rectangle in the air)

Kiff Chatterley: Here's the chart.

Coyote person: Oh, I see it.

(Glarbin looks carefully)

Kiff Chatterley: (points to the top of the imaginary chart) This point marks my enjoyment of the library as of 9:14 a.m today. (simulates a descent with her arm) And here's my enjoyment a mere minute after being shushed.(People murmur about that fact. Glarbin puts on his glasses.

Woman: I can't believe this!

Kiff Chatterley: And here it is five minutes later. (continues doing her downward arm until she breaks the imaginary chart)

Glarbin Gloobin: These numbers are accurate?

Kiff Chatterley: Crunched them three times. This data’s rock solid, Glarbin, but if you give me a chance... (puts her arm up of the chart) I know I can turn this ship around.

Glarbin Gloobin: Can I even say no to such a strong projection? Of course not!

(After Glarbin's approval, Kiff unwraps the imaginary chart, rolls it up, and puts it in her arms, smiling)

Table Town Library

(Kiff gives Ms. Moufflé a document with which she replaces her as the one in charge of the library)

Kiff Chatterley: It's legit!

Ms. Moufflé: (looks at the document) So you're in charge, huh? I thought you'd never "become one of us".

Kiff Chatterley: I said I'd never be a shusher like you!

Ms. Moufflé: (makes a devilish face, then she calms down) Whoops, no, no, no, no. I'm not gonna glare. I'm not a villain. That’s not who I am. If I were a I villain, I WOULD GLARE AT YOU ALL DAY VOWING TO NEVER REST UNTIL VENGEANCE WAS MINE!! (she calms again) But I'm not a villain. (awkward chuckle) I'm so fun! (sighs and leaves of her little desk) Enty-ways I'm just gonna go back to my previous profession as a Soufflé Baker. Good luck, squirrel! (goes to the door and leaves the library)

Kiff Chatterley: She's gone. SHE'S GONE! HA HA HA! (grabs a microphone) All right, this is now a loud library where being loud is allowed! Free from oppressive shushing. And if you need help, I'll be right here reading at the reference desk.

(Kiff starts reading her book, but other people start reading as if nothing had happened. Immediately, she notices that no one is making noise while reading)

Kiff Chatterley: Aw, you guys, come on! React! (it looks like a bird girl falls asleep while reading a book) Ya' gotta be kidding me... (she heads towards her book club)

Patty: Ah! (surprised by the plot of the book)

Kiff Chatterley: Gasp out loud, mystery lover. Gasp like the murderer is chasing you!

Patty: AH! (everyone gasp)

(Kiff goes to Trevor, who is reading a book of jokes)

Kiff Chatterley: Aw, you're straight-faced reading a book of funnies. That's messed up, man. Try one out loud!

Trevor Angstrom: Uh, okay... What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? (flips his book) Sneakers! (laughs) Hey, that felt good. Sneakers! Ha! 'Cause they sneak around. I get it. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Kiff Chatterley: Beautiful, Trevor, beautiful! Haha.

(Kiff goes to one of the library chairs to continue reading)

Kiff Chatterley: And now for... an unexpected twist!

Baby Turtle Boy: (reading a children book) The ducky went down to the dock. The ducky went down to the dock.

Kiff Chatterley: (chuckles) What's that ducky gonna do next?

Baby Turtle Boy: Ducky went down to the dock.

(Kiff walks away from the baby turtle when suddenly Reggie appears talking to his mother on his phone)

Reggie: So you think everyone's gonna go flying, but they don't! They... (Kiff touches his tails because she wants to talk to him) Oh, hold on...

Kiff Chatterley: You plan on wrapping up your call anytime soon?

Reggie: Am I being too loud?!

Kiff Chatterley: Oh, I mean, loud is fine. But it's, uh, it's supposed to be for the books, so, uh...

Reggie: Yeah, yeah, I'm just raving about how awesome this book is!

Kiff Chatterley: Oh, okay.

Reggie: (sighs and mutters) Should I keep it down? You know, "shhh" (Kiff gasps)

Kiff Chatterley: Oh, no! No, I'm not shushing you. I would never.

Reggie: Yeah, okay, good. Sorry about that, Mom. New librarian. Ready for Chapter Two?

(Gareth listens to an audiobook on one of the library's PCs, then takes off his headphones to listen to it at full volume)

Voice: Welcome to "Is Anybody Listening?" A podcast about audiobooks. (Kiff watch him from the desk)

Kiff Chatterley: It's okay. This has gotta be the loudest it's gonna get...

(The library is quiet for now, but in the blink of an eye it becomes a noisy place, since people started having a party, with loud music and dancing. At Kiff's desk, there is Harry, like DJ 11:30, playing the music. Then Kiff sees a lady turning on a blender that is making a lot of noise. Then, Ms. Deer teacher, Darryn and others using the books as drums and several kids climbing the book shelves)

Kiff Chatterley: All of this looks book... adjacent. (She sees how 2 people tear the "Book Club" sign and turn it upside down, forming "Club Book")

(Barry is then seen trying to read with all the noise and people dancing, but he can't)

Kiff Chatterley: Barr, are you okay? Where's the rest of book club?

Barry Buns: Uh... (shown as Reggie, Renée and Patty feel uncomfortable with the noise, they are surrounded by Candle, Billiam and a dog girl dancing with glow sticks) Okay, I... I just got to the part where Chartreuse betrays Maroon, and I gotta know what happens next.

Kiff Chatterley: No, don't go

Barry Buns: I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I just need to read silently sometimes. But don’t feel bad, you did it! You got the library to be so loud. A real win for Kiff! (chuckles) I’m gonna scoot my boot.

Kiff Chatterley: Barry... (a Iguana teenager comes)

Pirplu: Who reads at the club anyway?

Kiff Chatterley: This isn't the club. It's a library! You know, a quiet place?! (the iguana boy leaves the scene) Shhh! Oh, no, here it comes again... Ahh... Shhh!

Teenage Goat Boy: You can't do that. It's a loud library!

Kiff Chatterley: Shhhh! Shhhh! Shhhhhhhh! (all the attempts to shush end in failure, causing her to lie down on a beanbag) It's too loud, they can't hear me. Nobody can shush this crowd! (something occurs to her) Except...

Soufflé Shop

(Ms. Moufflé is organizing her things when Kiff enters the shop)

Kiff Chatterley: Hello? (her greeting causes one of the soufflés to crumble)

Ms. Moufflé: Shhh! Use your "soufflé bakery" voice in here please. How's "loud library" going?

Kiff Chatterley: Oh, you know, same ol' same ol'... (Moufflé gestures for her to tell the truth) Actually, nothing's the same. Loud library is too loud.

Ms. Moufflé: Huh, and you want me to come in there and snatch the loud outta that crowd?

Kiff Chatterley: Yes!

Ms. Moufflé: Well then, say I was right. Say, "You're not a villain. You're a very reasonable librarian." SAY IT!!!

Kiff Chatterley: (sighs) I was wrong. You're not the villain. I'm the villain (sobs) I destroyed the place I love...

Ms. Moufflé: I am the villain! (Her scream causes all the soufflés in the store to crumble) Ok, squirrel, I'll help. (Kiff becomes happy)

Table Town Library

(A long line is seen to enter the loud library. Kiff's friends leave the place with their books because they can't stand all the noise. Kiff and Moufflé hide in a rock watching a cat girl take her library card and a buffalo scans it, puts a stamp with the date 05/07/21 on her hand and lets her in. Then, the buffalo approaches a guinea pig, which tells him that he didn't take his library card, making that doesn't come in. They both discover that that is the only way to get in)

Kiff Chatterley: Oh, no, I don't have my library card. There's no way in. (Ms. Moufflé leaves and Kiff follows her) Wait! We can't give up. We're gonna lose the library!

Ms. Moufflé: We're not gonna lose the library! (removes the bushes and kicks the hatch, making them both enter the library basement, then she pulls a book and a secret passage opens with a metal door)

Automated voice: Please present shushing identification.

Ms. Moufflé: (clears throat) Shhhh! (the system scans the shushing)

Automated voice: Shushing confirmed, Miss Moufflé. (They both enter the room)

Kiff Chatterley: Whoa... What is this place?

Ms. Moufflé: Every library has a Hush Room for shush-mergencies. It’s where we store our silencing equipment. It's also my happy place.

(So ​​the two grab everything they need to quiet an entire party and head to the main floor. There, Harry is still playing the loud music while Kiff sneakily grabs a record called "Now that's what I call Quiet! Volume 95" and puts it on the DJ equipment, making everyone get confused and start shushing each other)

Teenage Goat Boy: So then what happened?

Baby Turtle Boy: He went down to the dock.

Kiff Chatterley: Some sleepytime tea! (She gives it to them, they take it and yawn. Then Ms. Moufflé takes care of the people drumming the books)

Ms. Moufflé: Soothing Chamomile Peace Mist. (she sprays those people making them relax and meditate)

(Kiff takes the plates from Biff and replaces them with pillows. And finally Kiff and Ms. Moufflé, in a cart, go to the 2 boys with another cart to cover them with a blanket)

Kiff Chatterley: Weighted blanket!

(Those 2 boys end up falling asleep, and Kiff takes the opportunity to announce over the microphone)

Kiff Chatterley: Loud library is now closed. I repeat, loud library is now closed.

Ms. Moufflé: Goodbye! Have a nice day! Please leave faster. (All the people leave the library)

(The library windows open, some birds and a wild deer enter out of nowhere, the deer opens a book and eats a page. Taking advantage of the return of tranquility to the library)

(Later, Kiff tries to rearrange the book club sign, but she can't)

Kiff Chatterley: Ahh...

Ms. Moufflé: That sign doesn't go here anymore.

Kiff Chatterley: I get it. I messed up.

Ms. Moufflé: No, I mean your sign belongs... (the two go to the quiet room) here! You stood up for what you believed in, squirrel. And although I was never the villain, I have to admit, you made me see that there’s enough room at the library for what we both want. So, I’ll take upstairs as my shush-sanctuary, and you can have a space for loud readers.

Kiff Chatterley: What? This is your happy place!

Ms. Moufflé: Well, now it's yours.

(Another day, while Sweepy Steve is sweeping outside, Kiff, Barry and their friends are reading the same book)

Kiff Chatterley: Okay, okay, okay. Turn the page in...

All: Three... Two... One...

(Everyone turns the page at the same time, reacting in different ways, screaming with joy, with suffering, etc. All while Ms. Moufflé listens to them outside the room while eating a soufflé)

END OF THE EPISODE


ve — Episode transcripts —
Season 1 1. "Thirst to Be the First"/"The Fourth Bath" • 2. "Pool Party"/"Road Trip" • 3. "Brunch DJ"/"Career Day" • 4. "The Five Pigeons of the Acapellapocalypse"/"Leave a Little Juice" • 5. "Big Barry on Campus"/"Club Book" • 6. "Kiff's Mix"/"Kiff's on a Plane" • 7. "Farley"/"Two for One Hot Dogs" • 8. "Halfway There Day"/"Be Still My Harp" • 9. "Friendiversary"/"Totally Table Town" • 10. "Hat"/"Lost and Found" • 11. "Principal Dance Socks" • 12. "Two Truths and a Bunny"/"Nicknames" • 13. "The Sound of Helen"/"Weekly Grocery Shop" • 14. "Friendship in the Time of Cheese Caves"/"Soup Opera" • 15. "Mall Leader"/"Ghost Wolf's Art" • 16. "Fresh Outta Grandmas"/"Maybe-sitting" • 17. "Everyday I'm Riddlin' Riddlin'"/"Life on the Inside" • 18. "Weird Delivery"/"No Dad Ideas" • 19. "Faculty Lounge"/"Personal Assistant" • 20. "Trevor's Rockin' Halloween Bash" • 21. "I Like to Move It!"/"Hive Got an Idea" • 22. "You Can't Handle the Tooth!"/"Blooper Quest" • 23. "When You Mow, You Mow"/"Harry's Maturity Crisis" • 24. "Silly Moods"/"Chatterley vs. Chatterley" • 25. "Hungee Squirrel"/"Foreverangees" • 26. "Snow More Ketchup"/"Kiff and Barry Go to Prom" • 27. "Kiff Is Good at Sports"/"Mushroommates" • 28. "Principal Helen"/"Dial B for Butt" • 29. "Fun Uncle Pat"/"Kiff Escape!" • 30. "Beach Day"/"Sun's Out Buns Out"
Specials "The Haunting of Miss McGravy's House" • "Lore of the Ring Light"
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