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"There's an unknown ingredient in the mix!!"
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Cast[]
- Candle Fox
- Kiff Chatterley
- Trevor Angstrom
- Barry Buns
- Reggie
- Billiam
- Miss Deer Teacher
- Cheese Caves Gnomes
- Timmy Table
Script[]
(Title Card with episode name appears while Sweepy Steve put a sign of the episode sponsor "The Cheese Caves")
Cheese Caves Gnome Announcer: Brought to you by The Cheese Caves! Fetagettaboutit!
Slim Pickins, Parking Lot - Friday
(The episode begins with the boys doing a car wash business in a parking lot, Reggie is in charge of pouring water on the cars, Barry is in charge of cleaning the mirrors, Renée has glasses on, Billiam is in charge of throwing water but Patty throws it on him, Reggie and Renée put foam on the cars and Kiff comes with squeaky shorts)
Kiff Chatterley: OK, only 32 washes and we'll have enough nuts to take our field trip to the cheese caves.
Billiam: YEAH! YES!
Patty: Whoo!
Timmy Table: Whoa!
Kiff Chatterley: How's our sales team looking?
(Trevor is in the sales room receiving money from Glarbin Gloobin after washing his car, while Candle is looking at her cell phone)
Trevor Angstrom: Up top!
Candle Fox: Nuh-uh.
Kiff Chatterley: Yikeseeola.
Barry Buns: Two people with zero chemistry and even less in common.
(Kiff heads towards them and her shorts squeaks)
Kiff Chatterley: Come on, Candle, Trevor, we need some energy coming from the sales table, man! Look alive! (Kiff leaves. Candle and Trevor look each other)
(After the boys finished the car wash business, Miss Deer Teacher counts all the money they raised)
Kiff Chatterley: Against All Odds... We're going to the Cheese Caves! (all celebrate)
Reggie: WHOOO!
Barry Buns: Speaking of Against All Odds... (Kiff and Barry watch as Trevor and Candle laugh)
Candle Fox: Let's, like, hang this weekend.
Trevor Angstrom: Oooohh. (Kiff and Barry gape)
Kiff Chatterley: Huh? Candle and Trevor as friends? Buckle up, my sweet social climber. Candle's gonna chew you and split you up! (Candle and Trevor shake hands)
Table Town Middle School - Monday
(It's time to go on a trip to the Cheese Caves. Candle gets on the bus with a serious face and when she passes Trevor's seat, she simply turns her back on him)
Kiff Chatterley: Oh, Trevor. Poor Guy didn't last a weekend...
The Cheese Caves!
(They finally arrive at the Cheese Caves, the bus parks inside, while Scandinavian-type music with gnome melodies plays in the background)
Kiff Chatterley: Wow! (Everyone is surprised to see the caves. They see mining gnomes, drops falling from cheese stalactites, and people screaming with excitement from the cheese roller coaster. A gnome receives them coming from a rope)
Cheese Caves Gnome #1: Welcome, children! Let's start by getting our pickaxes and cracket holdsters and pairing up. (takes out a piece of cheese from his back, and uses it as a rope and leaves)
Miss Deer Teacher: Ok, let's partner up! Angstrom, Buns. Chatterley, Fox.
Kiff Chatterley: (to Barry) You're with Trevor! You can help him through the rejection. (Barry nods)
(Kiff walks over to Candle and finds her sobbing)
Kiff Chatterley: Everything OK, Candle? (Candle yelps)
Candle Fox: I am, yes! I am totally normal.
Kiff Chatterley: You can tell me if something's up.
Candle Fox: NO, I CAN'T!! (Her scream makes it sound throughout almost the entire cave)
Kiff Chatterley: As your pickin' partner I should know if you're sick or...
Candle Fox: I'm not sick! I... I messed things up with Trevor.
Kiff Chatterley: (gasps) You messed things up with Trevor? What? Wha..wha... What'd you do?
Candle Fox: I can't say. It's too embarrassing. I just wish we could be friends again. Can you help me? (Kiff's eyes begin to shine)
Kiff Chatterley: You want my help? I've been waiting my whole life for you to ask me to help, Candle. Let alone on a plum issue like this. You messed things up with Trevor? Haha (eats a cracker with cheese)
(Later, the boys start mining gorgonzola cheese, while Candle looks sadly at the cheese in her cracker)
Kiff Chatterley: Without knowning what happened between you and Trev, all I can really--
Cheese Caves Gnome #2: (interrupting) Please, as you scrape from these sacred walls, remember, this caves are delicate. (leaves)
Kiff Chatterley: All I can suggest is that you and Trevor need a do-over hang. Like a reset.
Candle Fox: A girl could only dream.
Kiff Chatterley: Let me see what I can do. (goes towards to Barry) Hey, hey, Barry! Switch with Candle and then, you and I can be partners.
Barry Buns: Great Idea! Let me check woth Trev. (Barry leaves a little and Kiff thumbs up. Immediately, Barry comes back) That's gonna be a no. (Kiff is confused, and Candle bumps her head on a pile of cheese)
(Then, everyone goes to a contest called "The Cost of Cheese.")
Cheese Caves Gnome Announcer: Welcome to "The Cost of Cheese is Correct"! (All the public who came start to greet) Who will play?
Kiff Chatterley: Do it! You always know the price of stuff! Trevor think you're so fun!
Candle Fox: That's actually a really good idea. (raises her hand)
Cheese Caves Gnome Announcer: We have a volunteer!
(The public is excited. Candle goes to the stage)
Candle Fox: Hi! I'm Candle.
Cheese Caves Gnome Announcer: Candle, we're starting with a tough one: How much do you think a pound of extra old bit old cheese costs? (points to the cheese sign)
Candle Fox: Oh! Easy! A 150 nuts per pound. My dad imports it.
(A sign comes out with the correct signal and the entire audience congratulates him, and Candle starts to dance while Trevor smiles at her)
Cheese Caves Gnome Announcer: You're great at this! Wasn't that fun, Candle?
Candle Fox: (goes crazy) Fun! Candle! Fun Candle! And I love having fun. When I'm having fun and I get excited about having fun, sometimes I want to make sure that we keep having fun, so, I... You're fun, Gnome, you know what I mean? You Gnome what I mean, Gnome?
Cheese Caves Gnome Announcer: No. (Candle's eyes narrow, and the audience falls silent)
Candle Fox: (continues crazy) Let's hear it for Fun Candle!
(Kiff covers her eyes in disappointment and Trevor turns away in embarrassment)
(Later, the boys are in the feta caves, moistening the cheese that is around)
Cheese Caves Gnome #2: Don't let the feta dry, kids! Brine! Brine! Brine!
(Meanwhile, Kiff and Candle are inside a feta cheese room)
Kiff Chatterley: Just tell me what happened. Not telling me isn't working.
Candle Fox: Never! You'll think I'm weird, too.
Kiff Chatterley: I won't!
Candle Fox: YOU WILL!! (stomps the floor making the room shake)
Kiff Chatterley: Help me, help you! Let me inside your shame, Candle!
Candle Fox: STOP!! (with her mop, hits the floor and the ceiling begins to creak)
Kiff Chatterley: Oh, gosh, they said these caves are delicate. Candle, stop!
Candle Fox: I can't! It'll get around! Why can't this just get fixed without me having to rehash the weird thing that I did?!
(Kiff climbs on the mop and Candle tries to get her out but accidentally breaks the walls of the cave and everything goes down)
Kiff Chatterley: FETALANCHE!!
(Then, both are trapped in the cave, Kiff is unconscious and Candle looks for a way out)
Candle Fox: There's no way out.. (she sits on the floor sad) I can't go down with this terrible secret inside of me...
Kiff Chatterley: (regaining consciousness) Oh, now she want to tell me.
Candle Fox: So after the car wash, Trevor and I had a fun weekend like back-to-back Saturday Sunday hangs, and then Sunday night, I couldn't sleep because I was so excited about our new friendship. So I am... I sent Trevor a... Chunky Text!
Kiff Chatterley: Chunky Text? What's that?
(The stalactites in the cave start ringing and then Kiff and Candle fall into a hole)
Candle Fox: ♪ Chunky, so chunky. Send a text so chunky ♪
♪ There's no turning back ♪
Auto-tuned voice: ♪ When you send a text like that ♪
Kiff Chatterley: ♪ Like what? ♪
Candle Fox: ♪ Chunky, so chunky. Have you ever send a text so chunky? ♪
♪ I'ts the end. You can´t unsend ♪
(Kiff and Candle fall and the long text crushes them)
Candle Fox: ♪ Let me tell ya 'bout this text I sent ♪
♪ I shut it off without a thought and just went straight to bed ♪
♪ I checked my phone and I can see that the text was red ♪
♪ It was seen but it couldn't be unseen ♪
Kiff Chatterley: ♪ Whaddya mean? ♪
Candle Fox: ♪ The text was long ♪
Kiff Chatterley: ♪ How long? ♪
Candle Fox: ♪ Real long, like a text from Mom but longer ♪
♪ With the beggining, but no end ♪
♪ You'd be scrollin' scrollin' scrollin' scrollin' scrollin' ♪
Candle Fox: ♪ I didn't think of anything I was typin' ♪
♪ I might've been too excited ♪
♪ It's like my fingers were running a marathon ♪
♪ And my mind was left behind and by the time I hit send ♪
♪ It was the end of our friendship! ♪
Candle Fox: ♪ The ship has sailed ♪
♪ On a ocean of poor grammar and unlimmited shame ♪
♪ I got no one to blame! ♪
Kiff Chatterley: (falling) ♪ She's got no one to blame ♪
Candle Fox: (falling) ♪ I got no one to blame ♪
Kiff Chatterley: ♪ She's got no one to blame ♪
Candle Fox: ♪ But myself... ♪
...
Candle and Kiff: ♪ Chunky, so chunky. Send a text so chunky ♪
♪ There's no turning back ♪
Auto-tuned Gnome: ♪ When you send a text like that ♪
Kiff Chatterley: ♪ Like what? ♪
Candle and Kiff: (pulling a big stone) ♪ Chunky, so chunky. Have you ever send a text so chunky? ♪
♪ I'ts the end. You can´t unsend ♪
(They both stand in front of a stone that says "THE END", Kiff hits it and the stone ends up crushing them)
Kiff Chatterley: I can fix this. I can fix this!
Candle Fox: But we're trapped!! (Kiff takes a piece of a cheese brick and eats it)
Kiff Chatterley: I'm a squirrel, Candle! I've got a two-ton cheek capacity.
(She continues eating, until she breaks the wall of cheese, which Barry was mining into. Candle and Kiff manage to get out of the cave, and Kiff throws up all the cheese she ate)
Kiff Chatterley: Where's Trevor?
Barry Buns: Getting his Caricacheese done.
(Kiff goes to the Caricacheese booth, heads to Trevor)
Kiff Chatterley: Come on, man. It was just a chunky text.
Trevor Angstrom: (muttering) Just?
Cheese Caves Gnome #2: Please don't talk.
(Trevor grabs his cell phone and shows Kiff the chunky text that Candle sent him. Kiff reads it and imagines it in Candle's voice. Music "Most Fun I've Ever Had" starts playing in the background)
Candle Fox: (voice only) "Hey Trevor, I just wanted to send you a text because I really feel like that was the most fun I've ever had. But there is sometimes I have more fun but actually with you is probably in the top 70% of the most fun I've ever had. Actually, I feel like it would be the most fun dear if you could come over every... there are three Tuesdays and there's probably other months."
(Tears begin to come to Kiff's eyes)
Candle Fox: (voice only) "And if I can't come over one Tuesday, it doesn't change the fact that you are invited. Although we could change it to Monday. This is not weird, is it? Because I feel like you understand, because you... Love the cartwheels. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... Anyway, this is not weird... not weird... not weird..."
(Kiff finishes to read the chunky text)
Kiff Chatterley: Ah. Finally! (slides the screen and discovers that there are more messages) Wait, what are all these before the chunker?
Trevor Angstrom: Uh, don't read those.
Kiff Chatterley: From Candle, "Whoa, have you seen Kiff's outfit? It's the shorts for me". From Trevor, "I can hear them from here" (looks strangely at Trevor, who is nervous) Then there's a voice note?
Trevor Angstrom: Uh, that's nothing, don't worry about that.
(Kiff plays the voice note)
Trevor Angstrom: (recording only) Do you like impressions? Here's my impression of Kiff's shorts. (begins to imitate the squeaks of Kiff's shorts, which makes them heard in all the caves)
Kiff Chatterley: (continues reading) Response from Candle, "What are they made of, speakers?" (heads to Trevor) THIS IS HOW YOU BONDED?!!! Candle probably doesn't get why I wore the shorts. I mean, they're super popular right now. Several pro athletes wear them. Let me text her the full history of shorts as a start.
Trevor Angstrom: Kiff! (heads to the gnome) She's writing her own chunky text. Are you seeing this? They're just happening all over?
Cheese Caves Gnome #2: I sent several last week
Trevor Angstrom: I thought this was a weird Candle thing. (gasp) Oh no! I have to find her!
Cheese Caves Gnome #2: The side of your face isn't done
Trevor Angstrom: Just use Kiff's!! (Trevor leaves and Kiff sits angry)
Kiff Chatterley: OK, you know what, let's just go into the history of clothes in general.
(Trevor starts running, pushes a gnome and finds Candle lying on the ground next to a cheesecloth station)
Trevor Angstrom: Candle! What happened?!
Candle Fox: I'm covering myself in cheesecloths so I can hide in my misery... FOREVER! (grabs a cheesecloth, covers herself and sobs)
Trevor Angstrom: Candle. No. No! I forgive you for the chunky text. Chunky texts happened to everybody. They're nothing to be ashamed of.
Candle Fox: (with tears on her eyes) They're... not?!
Trevor Angstrom: No! I'm so sorry for judging you. (Candle comes out of the cloth and gives her a hug. Then a gnome comes)
Cheese Caves Gnome #3: We prefer chunky texts.
(Afterwards, it was time to go home. Meanwhile on the bus, Candle and Trevor eat the cheese in the shape of Trevor and Kiff's faces)
Candle Fox: Something about your left eye looks off to me.
(And Kiff, still angry, continues writing her chunky text)
Kiff Chatterley: All right, I have clothes history, Candle's and I's history together, the Great Rubber Boom of the Southern Continent and what I'm eating for dinner tonight. After, a few more paragraphs of exposition, I think I can start telling her about how wrong she was about the shorts.
Barry Buns: Hoo, boy, gonna be a chunky one. (A tone from the Chunky Text song plays)
END OF EPISODE