Lance Contract

Lance Contract, guilty as charged.

Lance Contract, "Hungee Squirrel"

Lance Contract is a minor character in the series Kiff. He is a lawyer and realtor based in Table Town.

Profile[]

Lance Contract is a lawyer whose office is located in Table Town's Law Office building. He has a shady background (his credentials include degrees from "Very Real University" and "S.C.A.M. University"), and displays similarly questionable ethics in his work. As of "The Haunting of Miss McGravy's House", he is also a licensed realtor, having earned his license a week before the episode's events.

Personality[]

Hungee Squirrel 114 — The back of Contract's business card.

In "Hungee Squirrel", Kiff, wanting to take legal action over her picture becoming a viral meme, visits Contract's office with Barry after seeing an online ad for Contract's services. Contract assumes that Kiff and Barry are best friends who want to sue their parents and legally become siblings, then hands them a contract to sign that he says will make this possible. When Kiff explains her real reason for visiting, Contract rips up the contract and tells her that nothing can be done because it is impossible to sue the Internet, despite Kiff pointing out that his ad slogan is "I will fight for you."

Later in the episode, he visits Saddles and confirms the legality of the release agreement that Kiff was tricked into signing, giving Ma and Pa the rights to Kiff's likeness. He does the same when the Saddles themselves are tricked into signing the rights to Kiff's likeness back to her.

Contract reappears in "The Haunting of Miss McGravy's House", where he handles the sale of Miss McGravy's house to Markus Plue and Tarryn Plue. The sale is later invalidated due to Diego and Tyler, rather than McGravy, being the true legal owners of the house.

Appearances[]

Season 1
Opening sequence:		Absent
1. "Thirst to Be the First":	Absent	31. "Fresh Outta Grandmas":	Absent
2. "The Fourth Bath":	Absent	32. "Maybe-sitting":	Absent
3. "Pool Party":	Absent	33. "Everyday I'm Riddlin' Riddlin'":	Absent
4. "Road Trip":	Absent	34. "Life on the Inside":	Absent
5. "Brunch DJ":	Absent	35. "Weird Delivery":	Absent
6. "Career Day":	Absent	36. "No Dad Ideas":	Absent
7. "The Five Pigeons of the Acapellapocalypse":	Absent	37. "Faculty Lounge":	Absent
8. "Leave a Little Juice":	Absent	38. "Personal Assistant":	Absent
9. "Big Barry on Campus":	Absent	39–40. "Trevor's Rockin' Halloween Bash":	Absent
10. "Club Book":	Absent	41. "I Like to Move It!":	Absent
11. "Kiff's Mix":	Absent	42. "Hive Got an Idea":	Absent
12. "Kiff's on a Plane":	Absent	43. "You Can't Handle the Tooth!":	Absent
13. "Farley":	Absent	44. "Blooper Quest":	Absent
14. "Two for One Hot Dogs":	Absent	45. "When You Mow, You Mow":	Absent
15. "Halfway There Day":	Absent	46. "Harry's Maturity Crisis":	Absent
16. "Be Still My Harp":	Absent	47. "Silly Moods":	Absent
17. "Friendiversary":	Absent	48. "Chatterley vs. Chatterley":	Absent
18. "Totally Table Town":	Absent	49. "Hungee Squirrel":	Debut
19. "Hat":	Absent	50. "Foreverangees":	Absent
20. "Lost and Found":	Absent	51. "Snow More Ketchup":	Absent
21–22. "Principal Dance Socks":	Absent	52. "Kiff and Barry Go to Prom":	Absent
23. "Two Truths and a Bunny":	Absent	53. "Kiff Is Good at Sports":	Absent
24. "Nicknames":	Absent	54. "Mushroommates":	Absent
25. "The Sound of Helen":	Absent	55. "Principal Helen":	Absent
26. "Weekly Grocery Shop":	Absent	56. "Dial B for Butt":	Absent
27. "Friendship in the Time of Cheese Caves":	Absent	57. "Fun Uncle Pat":	Absent
28. "Soup Opera":	Absent	58. "Kiff Escape!":	Absent
29. "Mall Leader":	Absent	59. "Beach Day":	Absent
30. "Ghost Wolf's Art":	Absent	60. "Sun's Out Buns Out":	Absent

Specials
Opening sequence:		Absent
1. "The Haunting of Miss McGravy's House":	Appears	2. TBA:	Absent

Trivia[]

He, like Principal Secretary, apparently has a degree from "The Principal Academy of Principaling", which can be seen hanging in his office.

Gallery[]

Click here to view the gallery for Lance Contract.

v • e — Characters —
Main characters	Kiff Chatterley • Barry Buns
Secondary characters	Beryl Chatterley • Martin Chatterley • Mary Buns • Harry Buns • Terri Buns • Kristophe Buns • Helen • Miss Deer Teacher • Principal Secretary • Secretary Prince • Sweepy Steve • Trevor Angstrom • Renée du Bedat • Candle Fox • Reggie • Roy Fox • Glarbin Gloobin
Other recurring characters	Billiam • Darryn • Gareth • Patty • Snekole • Agnes • Ghost Wolf • Dr. Lyon • Miss Moufflé • The Pone • Rat • Trollie • The Wall of Goat
Minor characters	Amira • Andrew • Mrs. Angstrom • Ben Bamboo • Other Barry • Beverly • Biff • Grandma Dog • Biker Lady • Bill • Flam Bingo • Bird Greg • Bird Linda • Cakie Bonut • Ridgeway Burlington • Cedric • Pat Chatterley • Rose Chatterley • Tom Chatterley • Cheryl • Centaur Claus • Computer Gremlin • Lance Contract • Dante • Dee • Dennis • Deryl • Diane • Diego • Donnie • Drifter • Ben Finn • Quinn Finn • The Five Pigeons of the Acapellapocalypse (Bad Boy • Meathead • Mystery Lad • Nice Guy • Party Girl) • Miss Foodcake • Gayle • Gerard • Ghost Grannie • Gladys • Gordon • Gram Gram • Bort Grig • Lady Jane Harness • Dan Hill • Bigby Hind • Iris • Jean Claude • Jill • Judge Judegy • Kenny • Dean Kim • Kim • Klon • L.E. • The Left Brothers • Liz K. • Professor Lloyd • Lady Lorraine • Little Louis • Kyle Lyon • Mrs. Lyon • Mav • Meryl • Pawva Mugg • Nick Namé • Nice Old Singer • Michaela Oats • Mr. Penguino • Pete • Markus Plue • Tarryn Plue • Kim Popularé • Rad • Mr. RiPeppa • Rockwell • Miss Rogers • Roo • Rosso • Ma Saddle • Pa Saddle • Rob Sadly • Sally • Scarm Scaremly • Seagull Girl • Forlington Slarvly • Slent • Slimmy P • Principal Swan • Timmy Table • Vanilla Tigner • Tippy • Tony • Professor Totsy • Tuft Pierre Students • Miss Tulane • Tyler • Erica Von Ant • Wayne • Danny Wibbon • George Meredith Willows • Chubbles Wubbington