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Cast[]
- Kiff Chatterley
- Barry Buns
- Martin Chatterley
- Beryl Chatterley
- Miss Deer Teacher
- Candle Fox
- Principal Secretary
Script[]
Sponsor[]
[The episode opens on the title card, a billboard that reads the episode title: Thirst to Be the First. Sweepy Steve puts a sign of the episode sponsor that reads "Ribbon Wibbons".]
Dilton Wibbon: Brought to you by Wibbon's Ribbons. Looking for ribbons? Think Wibbon's!
Table Town Middle School[]
[Cut to one of Miss Deer Teacher's lessons, where Kiff is answering all of her questions correctly.]
Miss Deer Teacher: First person to climb Mount Table?
Kiff Chatterley: Lady Jane Hardness!
Miss Deer Teacher: First person to fly planes at Bench Beach?
Kiff: The Left Brothers!
Miss Deer Teacher: First to swim the Agyeman Chan...?
Kiff: (interrupting) Erica Von Ant!!
Miss Deer Teacher: Hehe, that's right, Kiff.
[The bell for the next class rings.]
Barry Buns: How did you remeber the names of all those people who did all those… things?
Kiff: Sweet, beautiful Barry, those "people" are my future peers. I'll be joining them soon, because...
[Kiff opens the door very hard, crushes a walrus and starts singing.]
(Song: Thirst to Be the First)
♪ I got a thirst to be the first ♪
♪ To be the first is not the worst... It's the best! ♪
♪ No one remembers the second person to climb... the highest peak, NO!♪
♪ I got a thirst to be the first ♪
♪ You're not forgotten when you're the first ♪
♪ Oh, that's right, I just rhymed first with first ♪
♪ I'm the first to do that! ♪
♪ I'm gonna be the first... to keep my eyes open When I... ♪
♪ Open when I sneeze ♪ (in the background it shows Kiff sneezing with her eyes open)
♪ I'm gonna be The first to do that, simultaneously while I am The first to cure a disease! ♪
♪ You're gonna see! Big stuff is meant! Big stuff is meant for me!♪
♪ I got big things! Big is my destiny ♪
♪ I GOT A THIRST! I GOT A THIRST TO BE THE FIRST...!!! ♪
Kiff: (stops singing and points to an old drinking fountain) ...person to drink from the brand new water fountain that's being installed.
(sad violin playing while a spider writes "AQUA LA VISTA" to Ol Dippy and Barry tries to pull the water and sees that dust and a small droop come out)
Barry Buns: We're gonna miss you, Dippy.
Kiff: Yep, there's nothing more important than having your name in the annals of Table Town history one day. And by "one day," I mean "tomorrow". (points to a sign that says "NEW FOUNTAIN COMING SOON!" and in small letters "ft. Master of Ribbon Cutting Ceremony: Kiff chatterley") Principal Secretary! (goes to the Principal Secretary) Ready for the rehearsal? Ready, ready, ready?
Principal Secretary: Oh, uh, hi Kiff, yes, hmm, listen. Is this all really necessary? You're just cutting a ribbon and taking a sip. Do we need a rehearsal?
Kiff: (laughing) You crack me up, PS. (stops laughing) Obviously we're gonna need to rehearse. I think we can all agree that this is a huge deal. (tries to drink at the Ol Dippy) Ahh...
(Principal Secretary stairs at Kiff in awkward silence for a few seconds)
Principal Secretary: Wow. Riveting stuff. I'll see you tomorrow for the real thing, Kiff. (leaves the scene)
Barry: Wanna take one last sip? For old time's sake?
Kiff: You go ahead. I'm saving my sip for tomorrow.
Chatterley residence[]
(Kiff Chatterley's room; alarm rings)
Kiff: (sighs and gets up) Today is the day, let's do this! (Her tail falls) Oh, that's weird. Come on, Taily, quit slacking! We're awake now! (Taily falls again) Ah, well, uh, let's go make history! (She goes down to the dining room but her tail prevents her) Come on!
(Dining room)
Martin Chatterley: Glass of OJ, Kiffster?
Kiff: No juice today, dad. I'm saving myself for a special sip! (Her tail falls down to the table)
Beryl Chatterley: Kiff, are you feeling all right? Your tail is not looking so good. (point to the ceiling) Droop tail is not joke! I think you'd better stay home from school today.
(Kiff gets shocked)
Kiff: Mom, be reasonable! Taily and I never felt better, right, Taily? (mimics Taily's voice) Ah, yeah, Don't do this, Beryl! Not today! (starts sobbing)
Beryl: (puts her right) Oh, I will do this today, Taily! (Taily falls) I gotta get to work. Martin, babe, make sure Kiff gets plenty of rest and stays home. (flutters letter fridge magnets and forms the phrase "KIFF IS TRICKING YOU") And there. Now, if she tries to leave, remember: Kiff is tricking you!
Martin: You got it, hun. (Beryl leaves and Kiff is sitting with a sour face) Cheer up, Kiff! You get the day off!
(Kiff goes to her room and see her mom going out to work)
Kiff: There is no way I'm missing the first sip. The key to looking healthy enough to go to school? The rosy cheeks! (stretches her face until red cheeks appear) And lively fur! (turn on the hairdryer while Martin looks at his laptop at the living room)
Martin: (searching drooptail symptoms) Acorn Coma? Holy cow! (an ad pops up) Buckets of Popcorn? HOLY COW!
Kiff: (goes downstairs completely "healthy") Whoa, hoo boy, when you are right, you are right. That little bit o' rest cured me right up!
Martin: Kiffy, I'm so relieved to hear you say that! Uh, you look umm....
Kiff: Healthy!
Martin: A little too healtly... Which is great! (something strange sounds in the kitchen and Martin looks at the phrase that Beryl put at the fridge before leaving for work) Nice try, buddy. Back to bed!
(Kiff goes to her room again and tries to call Barry, who is in the school)
Barry: (His cell phone rings when he's in class) Where are you? I'm freaking out!
Kiff: (on phone) Barry, Listen to me. I am a prisoner of some new-age parenting fad called "staying home from school and resting when you don't feel well." You gotta help me sneak past my dad!
Barry: Ok... ok uh...
Miss Deer Teacher: Buns?
Barry: Yes! Mmm... present!
Miss Deer Teacher: Chatterley?... Chatterley...?
Kiff: (on phone) Quick! Put me on speaker! (Barry pick up his phone) Present!
Miss Deer Teacher: (silent for a sec) Fox?
Candle Fox (offscreen): Here!
Barry: (whispering) It worked!
Kiff: That bought us some time. Now listen carefully...
(Some minutes later, Martin's phone rings)
Martin: Yello!
Barry: (On phone imiting doctor voice) Hello. I'm, um, Kiff's regular doctor.
Martin: Dr. Lyon! My mane man!
Barry: (continues imiting) It's my medical opinion that Kiff Chatterley is in perfect health and should be rushed to school post-haste.
Martin: Oh, my! Sure! Haha (Kiff stars celebrating while she goes down the stairs) What a relief. Things are probably crazy over there at the hospital, huh?
Barry: "Hospital"? I'm not at the hospital.
(Kiff starts to worry)
Martin: Oh, of course, you obviously have a private practice.
Barry: Oh what? What are you implying?
(Kiff is still worried)
Martin: Haha, Look at me. Taking the ear off of an honest proffesional adult doctor.
Barry: Ah, I can't take it, you're cracking me like an egg! I'm not a doctor, I'm just a Barry! (Kiff hits her face many times) I didn't mean to trick you, Mr. Martin!
Martin: Trick me? (look at the fridge again and see his phone to find out that Barry was actually talking to him and not the Dr. Lyon. Then he turns to see Kiff, who raises her ears in embarrassment) Ah, Nuts!
Barry: (on phone) I'M SORRY KIF...! (Martin cuts off the call)
Martin: BEEED! (Kiff walks to her room full of sadness)
(Kiff watch from her room how two birds have fun in a fountain)
Kiff: Sure could use that first sip right now. (She looks to the clock striking 10:44) It's almost time!
Table Town Middle School
(Barry looks at the clock and gasps. Then an assistant tells to the Principal Secretary that the time of the first sip is coming)
Kiff, Barry, and the Principal Secretary: (at the same time) THE FIRST SIP!
(Barry runs through the halls and the principal walks slowly towards the new drinking fountain)
(While at Chatterley residence, Martin is going to take out the garbage from the dining room when he sees that Kiff was inside the bag trying to escape. Kiff smiles)
(Middle School; Barry takes a basketball out of a box while the principal is going to inaugurate the new fountain, by the way he says hello to Candle)
(Kiff tries to hide on the sofa while her father waters the plants, and when he sees the sofa outside, he decides to sit down and goes to the fridge outside, takes out a glass of OJ and looks at Beryl's phrase and discovers that Kiff is trying to tricking him again)
(Barry makes two sandwiches, one jelly and one peanut butter just so he can recreate Kiff's head with the basketball and bite into one of the sandwiches to imitate Kiff's severed ear. And Martin tucks his daughter in his bed and the fridge comes too)
(10:55; Kiff covers her face with the pillow)
Kiff: Well that's it. History will forget all about me, so long as that fridge keeps tattling and ruining my brilliant schemes.(suddenly an idea occurs to her) That's it! I don't need to outsmart Dad, I need to outsmart... THE FRIDGE!
(Martin watch the TV while kiff discreetly goes to the kitchen to move the letters from the fridge. and then she is discovered)
Martin: If it isn't the Kiffster! Up to another trick, no doubt. Come on, let's hear it! (awkward silence)
Kiff: Dad! I really got ya! Hahaha! This whole time I never even had droop Tail! (laughs) I've just been cast in a play... (silence seconds) about a character with droop Tail. Hehe. I'm method actor
Martin: Can I... see some? (Kiff gets shocked)
Kiff: (starts acting climbing into the fridge) Why, Father? Why didn't you want me climb Mount Table that day? You would crush my ambition simply because I had a little Droop Tail due to the altitude?!
Martin: Don't do it, character's father!
Kiff: (continues acting) A cruel gust of wind bloweth! (falls out of the fridge and messes up the letters on purpose, forming the phrase "KIFF IS KING YO". Then droops to the floor and hides the letters) End... scene
Martin: That was amazing. COUPLE NOTES!
Kiff: (getting up) Whoa, look at the time! This has been so helpful but I really oughta get to school now.
Martin: Hold it right there. You know I gotta run this past the fridge. Okay, let's see... (looks at the fridge) "Kiff is king yo"... Ha, You're my little king. And I love "yo."
Kiff: I love yo too, Dad! Gotta dash! (pulls its drooping tail towards the door) He bought it. And now to race to school to make it just in time!
Table Town Middle School[]
(Outside the school, many people came to witness the first sip of Kiff, there is a giant inflatable of her drinking from the fountain and banners saying "FIRST SIP". While Kiff is running to the School entrance)
Public Chant: ¡First Sip! ¡First Sip! ¡First Sip!
(Kiff enters to school seeing that there are more people inside)
Kiff: Master of ceremonies, reporting for duty! (She is surprised to see that all her friends came to support her for the first sip. Then, she behold the new fountain for a while and cut the ribbon wibbons) Let's make some history! (She begins to drink from the brand new fountain and then begins to levitate while continuing to drink.)
(Then she has a dream where she is falling from a waterfall and sees the people that were mentioned at the beginning of the episode, Erica Von Ant gives her a tape of "1st ever", then they all do synchronized swimming congratulating Kiff on the first sip, and then it is seen that all this was a dream and the first sip was never real, Kiff is seen thrown on the ground while getting sprayed on by a sprinkler)
Martin: Kiff?
Kiff: (wakes up) Fountain? Okay. Maybe I'm not entirely up to going to school today. (It can be seen that the sprinker wets Kiff's tail a little and it gets up) Hang on!
Kiff's mind:' "I got a thirst To be the first" "I'm savin' my sip for tomorrow! No juice today, Dad!" "Sure could use that first sip right now..." "Thirst... Thirst... THIRST!!!!"
Martin: What are you realizing down there, Kiff?
Kiff: I don't have Droop Tail! I'm just thirsty! (takes the glass of water that her father had and takes a big sip. This causes his tail to stand up all the way)
Martin: Can't argue with Taily. All right, kiddo, get to school! Good luck on that play!
(Kiff heads to school and sees that the fountain tape has already been cut, realizing that she was late)
Kiff: Ah... I missed it.
Barry: Or did you?
Kiff: What? Whoa! (Barry gives her a picture of the first sip.) Barry! What?...Oh, well... (tears start to come out of her eyes) This is the first time this has ever happened. You're the best. (Kiff hugs Barry and places the picture above the fountain. And both are go to the principal door of the school) Thanks, Bar! I know how hard it must have been for you to not finish that sandwich.
Barry: (with the mouth full) It was!
(The image of the basketball stuck to two sandwiches is seen drinking in the fountain, assuming that Kiff would have been the one to take the first sip)
[END OF EPISODE]